i just want to give a word of warning to all. Hypnosis CD's might be a bad idea. I just bought a cd for Hair Growth through hypnosis. Well, I made a mistake and played it backwards. Now I'm a little balder than when I started. I complained to the company, and they sent me a CD on making me larger. By accident, I had the player set on "random". So I started getting larger, then got smaller. I had to listen to the CD three times through just to get back to my pre-CD length.

So that's my warning to you. Beware Hypnosis CD's! Of course, they do have a CD to stop me from procrastinating. Maybe I'll order that tomorrow.

there’s one thing I have noticed lately as I drive around our great state during my weekday jaunts to and fro work. There is really a lot of crap on the radio. There is some good stuff, but a majority of it is just plain bad. Mornings for instance. Most days, on the drive in, I listen to AM talk radio. For one thing, it’s on the Active Minded side of the dial. So it gives me all the info I need in the morning: current events, topical discussions, weather, market reports, traffic reports, and to a lesser degree sports scores. It also spares me from the inane banter of “wacky”, “zany”, or “shocky” morning show hosts who appease the Free Marijuana or Feeble Minded side of the radio dial. You know the people. They play audio clips, hoot and holler, and in a sincerely sad gesture, either laugh at, or point out jokes or funny things they say. Now there are mornings that I abandon my iPod, and instead listen to my little radio when I’m out doing the farm chores before getting ready for work. Now, since I start listening at about 5am, by 7am, when I’m on the road, they start repeating the news cycle again. Now since I’ve heard most of the stuff they talked about already, I tend to get bored, and switch over to the FM side. This is where the crappy radio comes back into play. I think the big problem I have is that no one station has everything I like. Either they have good hosts who actually appeal to more than the lowest common denominator, but crappy music, or vice-versa. In my area, there’s one station, 94.3, that has pretty good hosts, but they don’t play “my kinda music”. Then there’s 106.3 that DOES play my kind of music, but the hosts are new to the gig, and need work. 95.5 has a morning show, and it’s a little zany, and I’ll sometimes listen, but their music is almost like 94.3. Now all of these stations do have one thing in common. They all feature traffic and weather, which is a must for anyone doing even a little commuting to work. Now on the opposite side of the spectrum, is your Howard Stern like shows. I never really understood how people could listen to those shows in the morning(which seems to be the only time they are on). They never feature “real” news, weather, or even traffic reports. I honestly compare these shows to doughnuts or PopTarts, because all they are is empty calories for your brain. So instead of having a well-balanced breakfast, you’re getting a sugar high, and that’s about it. And if you listen to the people who call into those shows, they almost prove my point. But then again, if you’re calling in, you’re either NOT working, or you’re stuck in traffic you didn’t know there was because you were laughing at dick jokes. The same stuff applies to the ride home also. But except for 95.5, the other stations don’t have hosts, just DJ’s. So you get a lot more music, as well as traffic and weather. But now we come to the crappy music that they play. It sometimes seems there are only 20-30 songs in the world that radio stations are allowed to play, and they play them over and over. So while you’re driving down the Parkway at 80mph, you’re trying to find a decent station which is playing ANYTHING else. So sometimes I listen to my iPod while I’m driving. I know, I know, it’s illegal to wear headphones while driving. But how else could I listen to good music and my podcasts like Distorted View(shameless plug for my evil doppelganger)? I could invest in a FM adapter, but I think they’re a waste of money because you lose so much fidelity due to interference, distortion, etc… I was going to hardwire my iPod which is WAY cheaper, doesn’t have any cons like the FM transmitters do, has nothing to break, and has the big advantage of using the stereo’s built-in equalizer and amplifier to make the music sound better. BUT, since my new car is an 85, the stereo doesn’t have the inputs I need to do it. I have been considering installing the radio from my Nissan under my seat so I can still look stock, but have access to a better system and the aux inputs I would need. Except for wiring+powering the radio itself, I can do everything else like plugging in the iPod cable and mounting the radio. I think I’m going to wait until I find out where the next job is though. If it’s like a 30+ minute commute, I’ll do it. But if it’s closer to home like I think it will be, I’ll just pocket the dinero, and splurge on something else.

Speaking of splurging, if there is anyone out there who cares about me in the slightest, PLEASE, I am begging you; distribute a picture of me to all of the local clothes stores with a warning not to let me shop alone. I have been doing more and more shopping, and yet I honestly have no idea what goes with what. I sometimes find myself seeking out random women to ask them, “Will this go with that?” or “Can I pull this off?“ I saw two gay guys last night shopping, and I envied them SOOO much for having that gift. I had an idea to bring in a consultant to go through my wardrobe, explain to me how to coordinate an outfit, and then create a highly complex flow chart to post on my closet door. I also thought about something akin to the little computer that Alicia Silverstone had in Clueless, but that seems a bit too much for my limited collection. I shudder when I consider adding ties and belts to the equation. I think I’ll have to bring in some M.I.T people(at least two of them Asians) in lab coats, a super-computer, and a film crew from one of those DisasteReality shows.

Speaking of diasters(I’m segwaying like a madman today), I feel like a walking train wreck. After the headache of Sunday into Monday, I tried to get rid of it Monday night. Let’s just say when I got home, I was more trashed than when I left. I even managed to walk into the edge of a door with my knee. I’m still paying for it today. Partly because I slept like crap last night. But that was Huck’s fault. For those who don’t know, I don’t think Huck will ever win a medal of bravery. Whenever a smoke detector goes off from a low battery or because I’m testing it, Huck takes off for the nearest exit. I think sometime during the night, one started chirping downstairs. I woke up at least three times with Huck standing over me because since it was downstairs, he couldn’t go running down there, so he started bugging me. I didn’t go searching for whatever it was this morning, so maybe when I go home, I’ll search it out. It will be yet another on my list of chores. But seriously, I’ve been banging some out. Vacuuming is tonight. With all of this rain, there will be less humidity, and it will make the hair stick less.

On the point of hair, I’m due for a cut soon. Hopefully on Saturday my sewing machine will be done, sew(pun) I might just make a loop and get some other stuff done like a oil change, hair cut, return stuff, etc… It will also keep my mind off weither or not a certain book is waiting on my doorstep. And no, I don’t mean Sewing for Dummies. Yes, I folded and ordered the last book. If it’s not there Saturday, I’m either calling out Monday, or buying a copy, and returning it when mine shows up. Already there are supposed leaked copies online. I’m keeping my ears and eyes shut so I don’t find out. It’s strange to think this will be the end of an era. I hope to read the books to/with my children one day before they hear the outcome. I think it has a very good chance of being serious discussion fodder for meals and relaxation times. It’s weird I’ve been thinking about children more and more. I’ve always had plans to have kids, and I’ve always had a little space in the back of my mind where I squirreled away ideas, but I think as I’m getting older, they’re starting to drift forward. It could also be I’m surrounded by babies, and they affect the mind somewhat.

In the just random stuff category: I have the weirdest things happen to me. Yesterday at work, right before I’m going to leave, one of the guys I’m working with is talking to me, and says “Hold on, I’ll be right back. I have something for you”. I was like, OK. He comes back holding something about 3-4 feet long and slender wrapped in a cloth, with the ends folded over and tied with string. I got a little worried, and he hands it to me and says “open it”. Well, it wasn’t ticking, so I unrolled it. It was three pieces/bolts of leather/skin. One was red leather, one was blue/purple leather with a pattern, and the other had “peach alpaca” written on the back. He heard I had a sewing machine, and thought I could use it. I took it, of course, but I still don’t know what to do with it. I could probably make a purse or something, but I don’t attend many functions that call for a red clutch or handbag. I don’t think there’s that many people who can say they had someone give them leather at work for a present. Ok, that sounded a little kinky. Hrmmm, on second thought, maybe I CAN find a use for it.

A study I mentioned the other day found that fewer teens are having sex. It also found that there are more obese teens. To round it off, and prove a hypothesis put forth by the great scholar/playboy Glenn Quagmire, I read a study today that said fewer and fewer teens are employed. So Glenn was right when he said, “Fat girls need love too. But they have to pay for it.”

And finally, I can happily say I have had a measurable effect on the world. A recent study found that _ in 10 employed workers have used drugs in the past 30 days. If I wasn’t employed, the number might have been smaller. Who says one person doesn’t count?

Quote for Today
“Things aren’t the way they were before.
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore.
Not that you knew me back then.
But it comes back to me in the end.”
In the End, by Linkin Park

who decided or approved the idea that men's lounge/pj pants DON'T need a opening in the front? I can understand pockets, but no fly? That doesn't fly.

why is it when whales, dolphins, or other sea animals go away from the ocean and up a river, people call them "lost", "wayward", or "confused"? How do we know they aren't just taking a vacation, or are curious? And almost always, whenever this happens, "helpful" people go out and like bang pipes, play whale songs(how do we know they aren't telling them to stick around, there's fish here), or try to chase them with boats.

i was watching Modern Marvels on the history channel. The subject was "Pirate Technology". Is that really a MODERN marvel?

I thought prosti-tots were bad. Now we have Pimpfants. I shudder.

I have no reason why this happens. But it does, and Kari can back me up. It seems like whenever I go shopping, people ask me if I work there, or just ask a question out right.

Today on the train, some lady pointed out that I was a conductor. Now to make this clear, NJTransit conductors wear: dark slacks, a matching jacket with their name, and almost always, a hat. I was wearing my Khaki work pants, my Old Navy jacket, and my messenger bag. But that's not the only place. I have been walking through Target in my dark BLUE work shirt, and people will ask me where stuff is. Target people wear RED. And then they act like surprised when I say I don't work somewhere.

What is up with some womens shoes? instead of the normal blunt point, they extend out like 4 inches from where they should and end in a point almost sharp. Is it for self defense?

Today is a better morning. I'm not in the fog I was in yesterday. And that is a good thing.

Here's a question. The scrubbed the space shuttle launch yesterday because a fuel gauge read the wrong reading in the main big orange fuel tank. Not THE fuel gauge, A fuel gauge. One out of FOUR had a wrong reading of full, when they told it it should be empty even though they were topped off. They were done pumping fuel into the tank. So they must have a gauge on the supply tank that says how much fuel left that tank, and they must have a gauge as the fuel goes in to say how much went in. I think you would trust that more than the gauge inside the tank.

If your supply is missing 385,000 gallons of liquid hydrogen, and your fuel line says 385,000 gallons went through it, and three out of four gauges say you're full, I think it's a safe bet your tank is full. Besides if the other 5 gauges are wrong, I think you would kind of notice when you turn the key and all you get is the starter kicking over and no BOOM.

Mission Control: "5,4,3,2,1,Ignition!!"
::engines sputter::
Mission Control: "Discovery, did you turn the key?
Astronaut 1: "Roger Houston, I'm turning, but we're not starting."
Astronaut 2: "Is it still in park?"
Astronaut 3: "Is the parking brake on?"
Astronaut 4: "Is the choke on? Cuz I had a old VW bug and sometimes if the choke was off and you tried starting it it wouldn't start and then you had to pop the hood and spray starting fluid in the carb."
A1: "No, it's in drive, YES, I have the parking brake off, and it's a fuel injected rocket engine, not a 40 year old hippie car, so there is no choke."
MC: "Discovery, we're talking it over, and we think it may be a low battery. Could you turn off the headlights and the entertainment system and try again?"
A1: "Roger Houston, shutting down the headlights, parking lights, DVD player, and the XM Radio"
::engine sputters again::
A1: "Negative houston, we are not a go"

Besides, WHY would you want a fuel gauge to be able to give you a wrong reading? Shouldn't it kinda be like a just full/empty kinda gauge? I mean, would you want someone to be abe to send a command to make your car think it's full when you're near empty? It would be great for when you borrow the 'rents car....

Mom: "Did you fill up the tank?"
Son: "Does it say full?
Mom: "Yeah, it does. Ok you must have filled it. Thank you my lovely child!!"

OK, I gotta get back to work. After I take another coffee break that is.........

According to news reports here , more than 1400 sheep jumped off of a cliff after ONE attempted to jump over a ravine. All in all, about 1100 survived, because there was a growing pile of dead sheep onto which the following sheep were falling onto, thus decreasing the distance they fell and also the impact.

Which leads me to wonder. People always say, "If (he,she,it) jumped off a (bridge,building,cliff), would you?". I have almost always retorted to that question, "Well, why were they jumping?". There must be a good reason for someone to jump off a (bridge,building,cliff,wagon), either blindly or sightedly. The reason for doing so might not immediately be understood, but it might be a good idea to find out why just in case you need to join them. I mean, while you're watching them jump, the guy with the knife could be sneaking up behind you.

The mortality rate of the above situation was only 30%. That is acceptable losses for most military actions and in many other situations. Which makes me think, it might actually BE a good idea to follow that first person you see jumping. At least they'll break YOUR fall......