I was on the train today and I was doing my usual walk up and down the train to try and find stuff. But someone asked me "what are you looking for?" I said nothing at first, and then I got to thinking about the question. What are we looking for? What symbolizes the eternal search that people spend years trying to complete? That people turn to religion to find. That wars have been fought over? What have people been killed for and over. I thought about it for awhile and it hit me. Beer battered onion rings. That's what man has been questing for. A perfect plate of Beer Battered Onion Rings. It makes sense. A onion ring can satisfy all the senses. Think about when you pick up one. It can't be to greasy. There's touch. The smell that wafts off the ring. A hint of onion and also the batter. There's smell. Then the color. That perfect shade of brown. Sight. When you bite into it and the skin snaps so cleanly and crunches. And the soft onion is underneath it, and melts at the sight of your mouth. That rounds off the senses with taste and sound. But there is also a theological aspect to it. How do you know when the ring is done? It cannot be measured. Well, it could, but then you would destroy the ring. Almost like how we would destroy God if we could measure him and prove His existence. Instead, you have to go on faith that it's perfect. You have to make the "leap of faith" when you bite into that plate. And people would kill over that plate of rings. Because it's just damn good and who the hell would want to share?

But that's just my theory. Why the hell would you listen to me anyway?

Well, if you listen to one thing I say, please listen to this. NEVER go to someone like this:
for ANY kind of medical advice or treatment. That's just plain crazy.